How To Stop Emotional Pain From Killing You
Emotional pain can lead to distressing thoughts
Emotional pain is an inevitable part of life. Knowing that doesn’t seem to make it any easier. Whether the pain is associated with trauma, loss, or disappointment, you must develop a strategy to lessen and manage the struggle. By taking action, excavating your emotions, and seeking professional help, you will learn to cope with emotional pain.
Emotional pain like fear, sadness, and anger is a basic part of life and sometimes we struggle with how to deal with them effectively. It can be tempting to act on what you’re feeling right away, but that often doesn’t fix the situation that caused the emotions. In fact, it may lead to more problems to deal with down the road.
Emotions can lead to distressing thoughts such as what thoughts or judgment thoughts (towards the self – sadness, or others – anger.) They can also make us feel uncomfortable physically (chest pain, fatigue, tension, stomach ache). And they lead to emotion-driven behavior such as avoidance, withdrawal, aggression, etc, which can perpetuate the cycle of emotional pain.
Changing your experience with overwhelming emotions starts with changing your behaviors – how you think and how you act and letting go of some old coping mechanisms that no longer work.
Emotions are useful. They help us adapt. We can’t control, stop, or get rid of them. However, what nature intended as a warning signal can blow up when we avoid them, push them down, numb, or use coping strategies that push them aside temporarily.
Key Steps to take to Process Emotional Energy Stuck in Your Body
1. Make yourself busy
Busy like hell. Don't give yourself the time to overthink.
Start avoiding certain people who can be hurtful. You may make yourself lonely. But, you must learn to rejoice in solitude.
2. Talk to yourself
Tell your subconscious what you want of it.
Logic is only what you should know and that's all. Learn to keep your logical reasoning first.
Work on your facial expressions. In fact, don't give any. Keep a blank face, like when you would keep while playing poker.
3. Awareness and Observation
There’s a quote that says “you have to feel it to heal it” and this is the first and most difficult step.
Emotional pain feels different for everyone. You may experience sensations in various parts of your body such as tightness in your stomach, throat, or chest. While this can feel uncomfortable at first, it’s essential to take a moment to sit, breathe, bring your awareness to what’s happening in your body, and gently begin to talk yourself through it.
Strong emotions can trigger the fight or flight response, which can make your entire body tense up. You may feel your heart pounding, shortness of breath, trembling or shaking, and in severe cases, you may experience a panic attack.
4. Permit yourself to feel what comes up
Acknowledge that you are safe, these emotions cannot harm you and begin to slowly take a few deep breaths.
5. Non Judgement and Self-Compassion
As you begin to talk yourself through what you’re feeling and experiencing, it’s essential to do so with compassion and non-judgment. Judging yourself only causes guilt, shame, and more pain.
For example, if tears well up in your eyes, allow them to surface rather than telling yourself that it’s not okay to cry or to toughen up. Crying is not a sign of weakness, rather it takes strength to sit with and feel your pain.
Some people also judge themselves for feeling angry because they consider anger a negative emotion. Or, they believe they shouldn’t be angry with someone they love, such as their mother, father, or friend.
6. Self-care
If we’ve habitually neglected our bodies and ignored our emotions, we have to re-dedicate ourselves to body-mind self-care and indulge in healing habits that will bring in the feeling of well-being.
The goal is to realign back with your authentic self, reset back to a relaxed and open state, and come back into wellness and balance.
7. Seek help from those close to you
Asking for help can be awkward. However, it is one of the ways you can increase accountability. If you let someone know that you are trying to make specific changes in your life, it will increase the likelihood of your success. A strong support network can help you cope with your pain more effectively. You need to let others know what you are trying to achieve.
Final thoughts
Sometimes a therapist is needed to help when the emotional pain is just too much and you can’t get a grasp on it. There is nothing wrong with this, however, these painful events in life are just too much to expect a person to bear.
If you’ve experienced trauma, painful events can be experienced in your body as scary and overwhelming. You may need to learn self-soothing and containment skills to live to your fullest.
