5 Common Mistakes People Do While Choosing A Life Partner

People often confuse infatuation, or at times simple affection, with real love. Have you ever been to this phase of life? Well, marital experts and a number of psychiatrists describe this process of choosing a life partner as no pushover.

Zinat Arif
5 min readJul 17, 2021
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

When it comes to choosing a life partner, we women often make the same mistakes. We often keep choosing the wrong people over and over again. To prevent that from happening to you, I decided to write this article.

Marriage is a lifetime enterprise where you are not supposed to rush into. you need to take your time when choosing a lifetime partner to avoid regrets in the future. With the high trends circles in divorces across the globe, it’s unfair to believe that marriage can end suddenly because couples fell out of love.

Here are some common mistakes consciously or unconsciously people makes while making one of the biggest decisions of their life:

Be Open Minded

When looking to date, people can get themselves in the wrong frame of mind very quickly. We often hear people say that they want someone ‘tall dark and handsome only to choose someone short and blonde. So don’t have fixed ideas and stereotypes in your head – be open-minded and let the chemistry take over – trust your feelings, they are usually spot on.

If you are not open to other ideas and perspectives, it is difficult to see all of the factors that contribute to problems or come up with effective solutions. In an increasingly polarized world, being able to step outside your comfort zone and consider other perspectives and ideas is important.

Don’t believe That Love Is Enough

Being in love can be wonderful but those fires of passion can quickly burn out. And will there be enough left to sustain the relationship? Do you have enough shared interests? Are you keeping in touch with friends? Are you happy with yourself as a person away from this relationship too? Being in love is a vital ingredient to a wonderful relationship, but there should be other components as well.

many of us idealize love. We see it as some lofty cure-all for all of life’s problems. Our movies and our stories and our history all celebrate it as life’s ultimate goal, the final solution for all of our pain and struggle. And because we idealize love, we overestimate it. As a result, our relationships pay a price.

When we believe that “all we need is love,” then like Lennon, we’re more likely to ignore fundamental values such as respect, humility, and commitment towards the people we care about. After all, if love solves everything,

Don’t rush your decision.

women make when choosing a life partner is rushing their decision. You might be 34 years old, you might be pregnant, you might be a single mother but you should never rush your decision to marry. It’s better to take your time and decide that you truly want to get married to this person than to rush into it and regret it later.

Sometimes, women rush into marriage or into choosing a life partner because they’re scared that the person will change their mind but the thing is that, if someone decides to change their mind about marrying you, it’s a blessing in disguise. Imagine if you got married to the person and then the person decided that they’ve changed their mind about you and they don’t want to be married to you anymore. How would you feel then? The misery you would feel in that situation is ten times worse than you would feel if the person decided that he didn’t want to marry you or be with you before marriage. When choosing a life partner, take your time.

They Lie To Themselves

"It almost all boils down to this: People lie to themselves. They tell themselves they’re in love, that the person they’re with is their everything, or that they don’t have other options, but they’re lying to themselves. The reason anyone should choose a life partner is that they truly love being around someone and that person adds value to their life consistently. They’re supported by this person. That’s it. Anything but a relationship built on that kind of deep love.

Sometimes our lies become habitual, weaving themselves into the fabric of our everyday relationships to such an extent that they go unnoticed by a partner or spouse. Other times, the lines aren’t so small and create bigger problems. Giant lies, like infidelity and gambling away the children’s college fund, break trust and shatter families. It’s important to get to the root of our behavior, what are we doing when we lie and what are we avoiding.

They consider you their puppet

If someone is in the habit of regularly trying to control the people in their life, dangerous tactics of manipulation frequently get pulled into their dating relationships as well, and when this happens, things can get completely ugly fairly fast. Nobody wants to be a puppet, especially if they think they are being controlled by the person they’re romantically involved with, but the dark art of manipulation is a frequent problem between couples. Remember, manipulation is the fruit of a lack of trust, and although a boyfriend or girlfriend may not have given their dating partner any reason to distrust them, the seeds of uncertainty can come from a deep place in their history, causing problems in the present. Quite often, manipulation of a dating partner is simply the default because they’ve been burned in the past by a previous romantic partner. Control might be the only way they feel they can protect themselves from getting hurt again. Don’t be someone puppet

Make Up Your Own Mind

When you’re in a relationship, friends and family all might have views as to whether or not this person is exactly right for you. But only you know how you’re truly feeling inside, so yes it’s good to talk things through with others but you must have the final say. Perhaps this is one of the reasons that using a professional Personal Matchmaker can be so advantageous, someone who can help and guide you but dispassionately and with a cool head.

They repeatedly ignore you

Being ignored by the one you love is the worst feeling ever. You feel unwanted, like you’re just not good enough for him.

What you do is go through all those things that you have talked about and you recall all the things that you have done to him that might have made him act like this, but somehow, nothing seems to have done enough damage to make him ignore you for such a long time.

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Zinat Arif
Zinat Arif

Written by Zinat Arif

English Literature Student. I love to Write. I write about books and Life.

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